Untitled Unalignment

For the past week or so, I have noticed myself being out of alignment with the Universe (hence my lack of blog posts).  This happens to be occasionally, usually just for a day or so, however, this time was a bit longer.  I feel as if I’m living in a fog and just going through the motions of life.  Negative thoughts tend to cloud my mind, even if I’m just doing something monotonous.  This out of tune feeling usually begins when I wake up and hit the ground running, filling my day with things to do and forgetting about or putting off my daily “practice” or meditation that centers and grounds me.

I typically shake this gloomy mindset by working out, meditating until I feel better, and getting an extra dose of caffeine (not particularly recommended, although it’s typically my first go-to method). This is my magic solution, although not necessarily in that order.

Other than feeling both mentally and emotionally dull, the Universe gives me other signs that I am out of alignment.

Enter the daily hassles of life: the petty, day-to-day, pain-in-my-ass irritations that drive us insane.

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I was recently chatting with a friend who felt as if he was out of alignment because he was attracting these daily hassles. He made me quickly realize that my past week has been filled with these miniscule annoyances.

The biggest one for me is running late.  I used to be notorious for running late, and once I moved to New York, I readjusted and adapted to NYC travel time.  I was forced to quickly learn how to manage my time much better and prepare for delays, yet I have noticed that as my thought process has changed over the past year or so now, I have been much better with being on time.

It isn’t necessarily my time management that is off now.  The obstacles that get in my way along my journey (i.e. the ACE train is running with delays, my Uber driver cancelled after I was waiting for 6 minutes, traffic on 9th for literally no reason) cause me to be delayed.

Yes, these are things that are out of my control, yet they are still things that I am attracting.  I’m attracting them because I am out of alignment.

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I have a couple of different tests that I use to see if I am out of alignment.  One of them being catching the time 11:11 AM or PM on the reg.  Repeated numbers or repetition in general are signs that your are in tune with the Universe.  I typically catch 11:11 once a day, and have been doing so consistently for the past 10 months.  This is actually something I have been doing my whole life, I just never knew what it referred to. When I don’t catch these numbers, I know I need to do some realigning.

Today for example: this morning I caught the time at 11:12AM.  I use this to gauge how out of alignment I am.  If I’m one minute off, I’m close, but not yet there.  Something within me is still out of alignment.  Although this morning I was very close, I’m not exactly on the right path in some way or another (probably because I haven’t had the chance to meditate and center myself yet).  To my surprise, I did, however, catch 11:11PM last night for the first time in probably six days, so it’s safe to say that I’m doing much better than last week.

So what is off in my life? Well, probably something that I am refusing to admit to myself.  Smaller scale, I know that when I forget or put off grounding myself (the one key necessity for me to be in tune with the Universe), I immediately get thrown off and become consumed with these daily hassles.  I wake up, hit the ground running, and start rushing through my life without centering myself first.  Even if it’s just closing my eyes and taking a long, deep breath before I begin my day–it helps me tremendously.  If my mind is scattered from the start,  I’ll attract things that will interrupt my life.

 When your world gets a little rocky, you know it it’s time to regroup and take a look inward.  When you’re in tune with yourself and the world around you, everything will flow naturally and you will be receiving the positivity and abundance you are supposed to be attracting in your life.

Xx Marisa

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Art by Peter Tunney

Photos taken at the Peter Tunney Experience in Miami, FL //Wynwood Art District

Beautiful Vulnerability

There is something beautiful about being vulnerable. A friend told me this about a year and a half ago. I remember cringing as he said this to me. The person I was at the time responded very differently to these words back then.

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At the time, we were sort of dating, and he told me this statement in order to get me to loosen up a bit. He was asking all the tough questions, attempting to break down walls I had spent years building up. I dodged his questions (successfully…so I thought) and chose not to self-disclose. That’s when he said, “You know, Marisa, there’s something beautiful about being vulnerable.”

I remember my body physically responding to that statement—muscles tightening, jaw clenching, body overheating—I was resisting in so many ways. It makes me think about what else I was resisting at that time in my life.   I was so closed-off and afraid of being vulnerable, even to a person who was completely open and receptive to my vulnerability. I felt so awkward, and it was so obvious. All I could think was how do I get out of this conversation? Somehow, probably with a bad joke or some kind of lame humor, I escaped the conversation. He knew he was pushing me to my limits, but I just wasn’t ready to answer the tough questions. I maybe couldn’t even answer them for myself.   It was safe to be transparent, but I couldn’t do it.  I felt attacked, although he was coming at me from a loving and caring place.

A year and a half later, I still struggle with times like these, although now, I wholeheartedly believe that there is something beautiful about being vulnerable.

It’s straight up frightening to be vulnerable. I used to see it as a sign of weakness, but that’s so far from the truth. I shake my head at my younger self for thinking that. Yes, you feel exposed and yes, exposure is scary, but if you own that exposure, nobody can use it against you. Not one single person.  Trust me.

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So, as part of owning my own vulnerability, I really want to start writing more, specifically about my life (more personal and meaningful topics) and how I live it.  This blog is a great creative outlet for me, and I’d like to take it to the next level. #WatchThisSpace for what’s to come in this new year 😉

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All of these amazing photos are from Pipilotti Rist’s exhibit titled Pixel Forest, which is now on display at the New Museum (located in the LES, 235 Bowery). I have seriously been trying to go to this exhibit since it opened in October, but just never found the time! Due to all the press and hype, the exhibit was extended, and I finally took the opportunity to go yesterday.

Rist is a Swiss video artist known for her mesmerizing and hypnotic video and multimedia installations. Her video, film, and image projections incorporate themes of gender, sexuality, and the human body.

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Pixel Forest occupies the main three floors of the New Museum. The exhibit includes works that span over the artist’s entire career, emphasizing the progression of technology and how this evolution has affected her art.

The kaleidoscopic projections, soothing audio, rhythmic lighting of each piece make you feel as if you are transported from your everyday, monotonous world into a tranquil, dreamlike environment.

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I love entrancing LED installations, so naturally my favorite piece was Looking Through Pixel Forest, a hanging LED installation and video projection piece (pictured above and below). The hanging LED lights changed to all colors of the rainbow in a rhythmic pattern while two videos played on the adjacent walls. The video, audio, and lighting combination made me feel like I was in a pixel forest, straight out of the movie Avatar or something. I felt like I was in a completely different world, and I loved every moment of it.

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This exhibit ends on January 15th!! That’s in 4 days, so I strongly suggest making it a priority to check it out yourself!

Read more about Pipilotti Rist and her Pixel Forest here and here.

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Xx Marisa