Don’t Let Me Down

The other day, a friend of mine wronged me.  She doesn’t know that I know she wronged me, but I do.  I’m not going to go into detail here, but it wasn’t something major, just the equivalent of something very high school (i.e. not inviting me to a party because she didn’t want me there for whatever reason).

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From high school to my junior year in college, I was bullied.  I wasn’t bullied by groups of people, nor was there a lot of concrete evidence that I was bullied.  I was consistently and sort-of passively bullied by my closest friends.

When I click with someone, I tend to become instantaneous friends with them.  During my younger years, however, my intuition was not as strong, and I constantly found myself becoming friends with people who were not good for me.

During high school, I quickly became friends with a girl, and we became inseparable.  Everyone knew we were very close and a package deal.  About a year into our friendship, however, she began to low-key bully me.  It started by putting me down by saying small comments here and there.  The subtle digs continued until they developed into so much more.

I remember her once telling me “Marisa, you’re never going to be a model.”  To that statement, I now laugh (if she only knew where I was now!), but at the time I was devastated.  How could my best friend who is supposed to love, care, and support me say that about me?  Answer is that she wasn’t a true friend.

There were many red flags that I should have ended my friendship with her, but we were at a small, all-girls school, where the level of drama tends to be high generally speaking.  I wasn’t looking to cause or add to any drama, and I sure as hell wasn’t looking for our friends to start choosing sides, something that would have been inevitable considering we had a small circle of mutual friends.  This girl was also known for having a strong and mean personality, and to be honest, my young, timid self was afraid to even have a simple conversation with her about how she was making me feel.  So, I sucked it up and tried to brush it all under the rug.

Eventually, we did end our friendship halfway during my senior year of high school.  I think the final straw was over a guy I liked that she was poaching on—I can’t remember to be honest, it feels like a lifetime ago.  Although I was devastated for losing my best friend and our mutual friends ended up choosing sides for the most part, I remember being very proud of myself for finally standing up for myself.

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Unfortunately, the lesson repeats until it’s learned.  After this falling out with this friend, the same thing happened to me again in high school and then twice in college.  It wasn’t until my junior year of college that I finally broke the cycle.

I continued to attract one close best friend who low-key emotionally abused me.  It happened to me 5x in a row.  Each time, it was hard to realize it was happening because girls can be manipulative, crafty, and for sure catty.

 Me being me, I also always tried to focus on the good in people and refused to believe anyone, let alone my best friend at the time, could do this to me.  I still always look for the good in people, but I sure as hell don’t overlook the bad anymore.  I don’t hold grudges—I think it’s a waste of time and energy, but I certainly don’t forget how people treat me and make me feel.

I started to attract good and genuine friends into my life because I finally stopped allowing people to treat me poorly.   I knew I deserved to be treated better, and I wanted to be treated better.  I knew I deserved to have genuinely good people in my life, and once I consistently started thinking this and changed my mindset, I began attracting the people that I wanted.

So, back to my friend that I started this article about: Although we are adults, and petty things like this blatantly shouldn’t be happening, at the end of the day, I can’t be mad at her for not being confident enough with herself.

People tend to project or take out their insecurities on others, and this is exactly what is happening here.  I was livid once I found out what she did to me because 1. situations like these clearly hit close to home because of my past and 2. We are all adults here, grow up, but once I realized this is about her, not me, I accepted what had happened and chose to let it go.

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This chic and very fashionable top is from Romwe!  I have written about this before, but I must mention again that I am obsessed with the bell sleeve phenomenon for this season! What makes this top also stand out is the intricate sleeve design.  I love that this top incorporates eye-catching lace-up tie sleeves.  It makes for a stylish, edgy, yet sophisticated look.  It’s the perfect transition top to take you from day to night! I love it paired with white denim jeans or a cute skirt or shorts.  You can certainly wear this to a barbeque or when you’re out and about shopping during the day, and you can dress it up for parties or get-togethers later in the evening!

Romwe is the place to shop for fun, stylish and edgy clothing! If you’re looking for something very fashionable or the latest styles and trends, Romwe has it all! All of their clothes are so chic and on trend. Not to mention, they are outrageously affordable!

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All photography is by Josh Lobel Photography (@jlobelphoto) and shot in SoHo.

Xx Marisa

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Poptails and Pop Art!

Hi friends!  If you follow me on Instagram or like my Facebook page, then you are probably familiar with FrutaPop, a beverage company that has reinvented the ice pop with a boozy twist.  Yes, these alcohol-infused ice pops or “poptails” exist, and they are so delicious.  FrutaPOP also specializes in detox and coffee pops.  All of their pops are made out of natural fruits and juices, and they offer seasonal flavors so your can have your pops year-round.  With a poptail in hand, you’re brought back to your childhood days, with an adult twist of course.

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Throughout the month of April, FrutaPOP has been proudly sponsoring The Art of POP: An Ode to Andy Warhol exhibition located at 548 West 28th Street in Chelsea.  Until the end of the month, this POP up exhibition will highlight work from artist and co-founder of FrutaPOP, Laurance Rassin.  Rassin is also the artistic director and founding member of The New Blue Riders, a twenty-first century contemporary art movement.  This POP up exhibition pays tribute to POP icon Andy Warhol.  Pop Art is one of my favorite art movements, and I was delighted to see pop art pieces with a modern twist. If anyone wants to buy one of these pieces for me, please let me know 😉

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Every Thursday during the month of April, FrutaPOP will host a series of poptail parties.  Come join us on the 20th and 27th of this month.  You’ll have the chance to try FrutaPOP’s limited edition, alcohol-infused “Andy POPs,” which feature some of Rassin’s Pop Art works from this exhibition on the label.

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Please visit Eventbrite (click here) to get your free tickets to one of the next poptail parties!

The POP up exhibition is open until April 30th, 2017, and hours are Tuesday – Saturday from 10am-5pm.

Also, these pops make the perfect beverage at any event or party, especially now that Summer is around the corner—talk about refreshing!  Click here to read more about their flavors and how to order a batch today.

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Please follow FrutaPOP on social media!

Instagram: @frutapop

Twitter: @Fruta_POP

Facebook: FrutaPOP

 Hope to see you on the 20th and 27th 6-9pm!

 Xx Marisa

Beautiful Vulnerability

There is something beautiful about being vulnerable. A friend told me this about a year and a half ago. I remember cringing as he said this to me. The person I was at the time responded very differently to these words back then.

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At the time, we were sort of dating, and he told me this statement in order to get me to loosen up a bit. He was asking all the tough questions, attempting to break down walls I had spent years building up. I dodged his questions (successfully…so I thought) and chose not to self-disclose. That’s when he said, “You know, Marisa, there’s something beautiful about being vulnerable.”

I remember my body physically responding to that statement—muscles tightening, jaw clenching, body overheating—I was resisting in so many ways. It makes me think about what else I was resisting at that time in my life.   I was so closed-off and afraid of being vulnerable, even to a person who was completely open and receptive to my vulnerability. I felt so awkward, and it was so obvious. All I could think was how do I get out of this conversation? Somehow, probably with a bad joke or some kind of lame humor, I escaped the conversation. He knew he was pushing me to my limits, but I just wasn’t ready to answer the tough questions. I maybe couldn’t even answer them for myself.   It was safe to be transparent, but I couldn’t do it.  I felt attacked, although he was coming at me from a loving and caring place.

A year and a half later, I still struggle with times like these, although now, I wholeheartedly believe that there is something beautiful about being vulnerable.

It’s straight up frightening to be vulnerable. I used to see it as a sign of weakness, but that’s so far from the truth. I shake my head at my younger self for thinking that. Yes, you feel exposed and yes, exposure is scary, but if you own that exposure, nobody can use it against you. Not one single person.  Trust me.

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So, as part of owning my own vulnerability, I really want to start writing more, specifically about my life (more personal and meaningful topics) and how I live it.  This blog is a great creative outlet for me, and I’d like to take it to the next level. #WatchThisSpace for what’s to come in this new year 😉

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All of these amazing photos are from Pipilotti Rist’s exhibit titled Pixel Forest, which is now on display at the New Museum (located in the LES, 235 Bowery). I have seriously been trying to go to this exhibit since it opened in October, but just never found the time! Due to all the press and hype, the exhibit was extended, and I finally took the opportunity to go yesterday.

Rist is a Swiss video artist known for her mesmerizing and hypnotic video and multimedia installations. Her video, film, and image projections incorporate themes of gender, sexuality, and the human body.

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Pixel Forest occupies the main three floors of the New Museum. The exhibit includes works that span over the artist’s entire career, emphasizing the progression of technology and how this evolution has affected her art.

The kaleidoscopic projections, soothing audio, rhythmic lighting of each piece make you feel as if you are transported from your everyday, monotonous world into a tranquil, dreamlike environment.

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I love entrancing LED installations, so naturally my favorite piece was Looking Through Pixel Forest, a hanging LED installation and video projection piece (pictured above and below). The hanging LED lights changed to all colors of the rainbow in a rhythmic pattern while two videos played on the adjacent walls. The video, audio, and lighting combination made me feel like I was in a pixel forest, straight out of the movie Avatar or something. I felt like I was in a completely different world, and I loved every moment of it.

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This exhibit ends on January 15th!! That’s in 4 days, so I strongly suggest making it a priority to check it out yourself!

Read more about Pipilotti Rist and her Pixel Forest here and here.

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Xx Marisa

PUMA x DSW Vikky Platform Launch

Hey friends!

This week I had the opportunity to attend the Puma x DSW Vikky Platform launch party! Puma’s Vikky sneaker now has a new look incorporating a higher platform.

The empowering theme of the event was “They follow, I lead,” encouraging you to be your authentic self, be the leader of your own life, and “do you.”

Check out some photos from the event below:

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And let’s not forget the new & fabulous Vikky Platform Puma’s

Thank you Puma, DSW, and Bloglovin’ for having me! I can’t wait to wear my new kicks!

The post is brought to you by Activate by Bloglovin and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone.
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Say You’ll Be There

“Four things for success: work and pray, think and believe” -Norman Vincent Peale
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“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated” -Confucius

“It always seems impossible until its done” -Nelson Mandela

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“The life of inner peace, being harmonious and without stress, is the easiest type of existence” -Norman Vincent Peale

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“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it” -Charles R. Swindoll

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Bomber jacket: Zara
Pants: Zara
Necklace: Zara
Shoes: Vince Camuto

Lip Stain: Revlon

Eyeshadow Palette: Lancome

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Bradley Theodore‘s pineapple street art found on the side of Juice Generation on 18th & Broadway
Photography by Tiffany Chen @photosbytifff