Mindfully Glam!

Hello everyone!

The time has come where I must transfer you over to my new blog, Mindfully Glam

Mindfully Glam: a place where wellness meets glamour.

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If you’re a glam girl like me, you love putting on makeup, stepping out in a pair of stilettos and wearing the latest fashion trends.  You may also be passionate about exercise, meditation and incorporating healthy eating habits into your lifestyle. You’ll typically catch me at the newest hotspot in SoHo or a meditation studio in Flatiron..probably all in the same evening!  If any of this sounds familiar, then you know that life is about balance, and Mindfully Glam gives you just that.

Living in New York City is a challenge in so many ways, but I realized that you don’t have to compromise who you are or the person that you want to be in order to be happy here.  It took me three years to find my place and figure out how to stay grounded in a chaotic city that attempts to throw me out of alignment on a daily basis.

This lifestyle blog is all about positive thinking, gratitude, spirituality, fashion, beauty, holistic health, wellness, nutrition, and everything both mindful and glam!

Happens for a Reason will always hold a dear place in my heart.  Please check out my new blog and subscribe here!

Xx Marisa

 

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Vicious Victim Cycle

So the other week I was watching a video by speaker, author, and spiritual leader, Gabrielle Bernstein, and she was talking about the concept of playing the role of the victim.  Now, I know that I am guilty of this, and I know a lot of people that are guilty of this well—we all fall into the victim trap occasionally as it’s human nature to do so.  All of us see ourselves as victims in some way or time in our lives.  Gabby explained that when we view ourselves as victims we begin to overthink and obsess about a situation and try to control it.  We reach out and talk about the situation to everyone we know, and the more we talk about it, the more we obsess about it and try to over-analyze it.  In reality, we make the situation worse, not better, and there is no resolution in sight.

I can honestly say there’s definitely one aspect of my life that I’m not happy with and working on.  I’m really consciously trying to think differently and change my perception about it because it has affected my disposition in many ways, over and over again.  I find myself falling into the trap of playing the victim when talking or thinking about this aspect of my life.

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Although I am on a great path, very in tune with myself, and feel as if I’m in alignment with universe, we all have hiccups along the way.  Nobody is perfect and let’s face it, life is a journey and a continuous learning process for both me and you.

So, the other week I caught myself complaining, complaining, and complaining, and then, I had this moment of clarity (which has happened before), but this time the clarity really sank in.  The questions of why am I doing this and why am I ruminating about this problem and thinking negative thoughts over and over and over in my head really triggered something within me.  If there’s anything I’ve learned in regard to the law of attraction it’s that the vibrations you put out into the Universe are what you will receive back.  With that being said, why would I want to bring negativity into my life and continue to ruminate over a situation that is upsetting me?

I believe we all secretly, very deep down, love playing the role of the victim because we have the opportunity to shift blame onto other people or situations rather than looking inwardly at ourselves.  If you’re unhappy about something, it’s much easier to blame someone else rather than to show up for yourself and acknowledge what’s really going on inside of you.

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One of the coolest things that I’ve read within the past few weeks was a quote on Twitter by @LifeHacks. I’m not very active on Twitter, but I do love reading and occasionally retweeting things. One day I read a simple quote that went like this: “Three solutions to every problem: Accept it, change it or leave it. If you can’t accept it, change it. If you can’t change it, leave it.” How simple yet true!

When I read this quote, everything seemed very clear.  If you can’t accept something, change it.  If you can’t change it, leave it.  Sometimes the key to happiness is really that simple.   I guarantee that if you take this approach to many things in life, you’re going to be much happier because surrendering to something that just isn’t working in your favor and isn’t making you happy is a very strong and brave step in showing up for yourself.  Ruminating about what isn’t making you happy may seem like the easier choice, but negativity has a domino effect, and the more negative you are, the more negativity you will bring into your life.

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So, here is my advice to you:  be present and acknowledge that you are playing the role of the victim. When you focus on living in the present, you observe, reflect and process things at a slower pace and in turn acknowledge everything around you and how you’re feeling.  By doing so, you are aware of how you’re reacting to what you’re thinking and what’s going on around you.  If you slow down the pace, in any moment of unhappiness, I promise that you’ll have a brief moment of clarity and want to reach for a happy thought.

The first step is awareness, and the second step is actually changing your mindset, which takes a conscious and continuous effort.  Practice makes perfect, and you need to change out the negativity tape in your mind to achieve the results you want. Anytime you have a negative thought, reach for a positive one, whether it’s a silver lining in a situation or a positive thought or memory from your past. Feelings and emotions are all temporary, and you can change your mindset from negative to positive in an instant.

Everything in life is a choice, and you don’t have to choose to live in a negative world. It’s your choice to live a positive life. Stop feeding into the victim role by putting an end to complaining and ruminating.  Life is going to be much easier once you do this, and I promise you that if you stick to slowing down the pace of your thoughts and reactions, you will become more aware of the vibrations you’re putting into the universe, and you will choose to think positive thoughts.  End result: you will have a life filled with joy and happiness.

Be well, be glam!

Xx Marisa

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This off-the-shoulder sweater is by Romwe. It’s so comfy for the change of seasons!  I’m so happy sweater weather has arrived. Check out the top here!

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Photos Taken at Sweet Moment in Little Italy (NYC).  I got the Creamart Red Velvet (naturally, because it’s red! 🙂 )

Trust the Process

This past month I have been constantly reminded that there is a plan greater than mine. I was so adamant about following my own plan that I continued to resist the path that the Universe was setting for me. Enter feelings of uncertainty and frustration as well as the constant question of “why is this happening?!” The best way I could describe the past month is like a puzzle: a puzzle I had all the wrong pieces to yet was trying to piece together. When something is not meant to be, it will simply not be, no matter how much we think we can control it or force it.

Naturally, resistance occurs when our plan doesn’t match up with what the world is throwing at us. The Universe will place new people and experiences into our lives and take out what is no longer serving us, and if you don’t make the changes yourself, the Universe will make them for you, as we each have a plan that’s greater than our own. You just have to be ready to let go and trust the process.

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Surrendering to a plan greater than yours is indeed difficult, however, it is ever so rewarding. I can’t emphasize this enough: everything happens for a reason. You might not know or understand the reason while you are going through the process, but when you take the time to look back on the experience or situation, you will find that it happened because it was meant to.

In my most recent experience, the Universe was setting me up for a better situation that I didn’t even think was possible! (Thank you, Universe!). We all put the utmost trust in our own plans, while we should be putting trust in a power greater than ourselves. Allow yourself to find comfort in trusting the process, and everything will come with ease.

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P.s. This gorgeous red, asymmetrical blouse is from SheIn.  Shop my favorite fall styles here!

Xx Marisa

A 16 Handles Miracle

I did it—I broke through the blocks! For the past two months, I have been feeling very stuck, and I just couldn’t break through the wall that was holding me back.  I felt misaligned and misplaced and had no idea why. I talk about it a bit more here in one of my past blog posts.

I desperately asked for guidance every day. Slowly yet surely, week by week, I began to understand and uncover answers to the underlying blocks that I couldn’t seem to describe or comprehend. Eventually, everything began to surface as I chiseled away at my feelings and I began to understand why I felt the way I did.

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Over this past weekend in particular, I felt very stuck in one place with no direction. Trying to make myself feel better, I decided to take a walk and get my favorite fro-yo at 16 Handles. On my way there, I began to pray. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that I pray, but yes..I do..every single day. I asked for help and guidance, and then I youtubed author, life-coach, and “spirit junkie” Gabrielle Bernstein for more encouragement. She is one of my favorite role models, and I always feel inspired by her words.

I didn’t have an immediate result, and I still felt pretty ‘blah’ after my walk to fro-yo and youtubing, but something happened as soon as I stepped out of 16 Handles. I am not sure if it was a sugar high or a mini miracle, but my whole mood changed. Everything hit me at once and I began to make sense of what was holding me back.

I realized I had been building up resentment in a couple of different areas of my life. In turn, this resentment was blocking my ability to stay and remain grounded, be present in the moment, and just focus on myself. Not to mention, I’ve felt completely uninspired and have been lacking creativity this whole time as well. I’ve dreaded writing for my blog—something I never thought I’d ever feel!

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History repeats itself until the lesson is learned, and interestingly, I have fallen into the same trap one too many times. For the past few weeks, I have been feeling the same feelings and emotions across various situations and aspects of my life. It simply (yet ever so destructively) comes down to the idea that I’m not good enough.

So, I dug deeper, and I asked myself why have I been feeling this way.  I realized that I have been surrounding myself with people and maintaining relationships with friends who have been destroying my self-confidence, diminishing my self-worth, and further reinforcing the idea that I’m not good enough.

These relationships have completely drained my energy instead of boosting my mindset and helping me recharge. I’ve written about toxicity before and the idea that certain people can be toxic to our health and well-being. I’ve detoxed people from my life in the past, however, the lesson repeats as needed.  Once again, I was confronted with the need to let go of relationships that are not in alignment with who I am.

After some inner reflection, I came to the realization that doing a little “spring cleaning” was more than necessary. I ended a close friendship with someone I thought was a very good friend of mine. I had no intention of ending the friendship that night, but it was meant to be. I walked away feeling 100% relieved. It was a long time coming, and if I wasn’t going to end the friendship myself, the Universe was going to do it for me. Damn right it did (even though I had resisted many times before, actually).

In a different relationship, I started to put my foot down and hit the pause button on being a “yes” person for once.  As a result, I have been treated with more respect and I am less stressed and more confident. In yet another friendship, I stood up for myself and spoke my mind about a situation that was really bothering me. The outcome of that one is still TBD, but que sera, sera. Regardless of what happens, I feel relieved that I let it all out.

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Over the past few months, I have been focusing on changing my relationship with myself, which in turn has changed my relationship with others. How you view yourself is a direct reflection of how other people view you.  The mirror doesn’t lie!

Also, for the record, it takes time to learn how to be attracted to what’s good for us. It took me 24 years, and I’m still a work in progress, but aren’t we all!

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Shop this look here on SheIn!  They seriously have the cutest styles for summer! All of their clothes are so chic and on trend. Not to mention, they are outrageously affordable! Thank you for the collaborations ❤

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P.s. All pictures were taken along the Hudson on Pier 26 🙂

Xx Marisa

 

 

Times Like These

Happy first day of summer! I can’t believe I have yet to write a post for June! The past month has been a whirlwind of both good and bad. I have been collaborating with so many brands, worked on a few awesome modeling jobs, and I even took a trip to France (travel post to come!).
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Despite all of this, I have felt very unbalanced and scattered the past month and a half. It’s become extremely hard for me to ground myself, so I know something’s up. Life is a bunch of ups and downs, and nothing is constant. I had been moving up since the beginning of the year, but I recently hit a plateau. It occurred to me last night that I’ve been stagnant, and if everything is constantly in motion, stagnant means I’m going down.

 

Although I’ve been insanely busy, I’m bored. I’ve been going through the motions instead of looking inward and trying to figure out why I’m feeling this way. Chatting with a friend helped to to realize why I’m bored and what I want. It’s time for a change. It took me a bit of time to realize what that change could be, but I think I’ve now found it. For the first time since May, I feel inspired, and I’m ready to run with it.
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This adorable off the shoulder lantern top is from SheIn.  This look combines two of my favorite trends for Spring/Summer: off the shoulder and bell sleeves! It’s the perfect blouse for daytime fun (i.e. visiting Versailles, picnics, day parties).  I even saw a couple of girls wearing this top at the Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic this year too.  This top is adorable, but please note that it runs small! SheIn is one of my favorite places to shop! If you’re looking for fashionable clothing or the latest styles and trends, SheIn is  the place to go. All of their clothes are so chic and on trend. Not to mention, they are outrageously affordable 🙂

Top: SheIn ; Bag: Louis Vuitton ; Shorts: BDG ; Sunglasses: RayBan; Sandals: Steve Madden

All photos were taken in the Gardens of Versailles in Versailles, France

Xx Marisa

Don’t Let Me Down

The other day, a friend of mine wronged me.  She doesn’t know that I know she wronged me, but I do.  I’m not going to go into detail here, but it wasn’t something major, just the equivalent of something very high school (i.e. not inviting me to a party because she didn’t want me there for whatever reason).

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From high school to my junior year in college, I was bullied.  I wasn’t bullied by groups of people, nor was there a lot of concrete evidence that I was bullied.  I was consistently and sort-of passively bullied by my closest friends.

When I click with someone, I tend to become instantaneous friends with them.  During my younger years, however, my intuition was not as strong, and I constantly found myself becoming friends with people who were not good for me.

During high school, I quickly became friends with a girl, and we became inseparable.  Everyone knew we were very close and a package deal.  About a year into our friendship, however, she began to low-key bully me.  It started by putting me down by saying small comments here and there.  The subtle digs continued until they developed into so much more.

I remember her once telling me “Marisa, you’re never going to be a model.”  To that statement, I now laugh (if she only knew where I was now!), but at the time I was devastated.  How could my best friend who is supposed to love, care, and support me say that about me?  Answer is that she wasn’t a true friend.

There were many red flags that I should have ended my friendship with her, but we were at a small, all-girls school, where the level of drama tends to be high generally speaking.  I wasn’t looking to cause or add to any drama, and I sure as hell wasn’t looking for our friends to start choosing sides, something that would have been inevitable considering we had a small circle of mutual friends.  This girl was also known for having a strong and mean personality, and to be honest, my young, timid self was afraid to even have a simple conversation with her about how she was making me feel.  So, I sucked it up and tried to brush it all under the rug.

Eventually, we did end our friendship halfway during my senior year of high school.  I think the final straw was over a guy I liked that she was poaching on—I can’t remember to be honest, it feels like a lifetime ago.  Although I was devastated for losing my best friend and our mutual friends ended up choosing sides for the most part, I remember being very proud of myself for finally standing up for myself.

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Unfortunately, the lesson repeats until it’s learned.  After this falling out with this friend, the same thing happened to me again in high school and then twice in college.  It wasn’t until my junior year of college that I finally broke the cycle.

I continued to attract one close best friend who low-key emotionally abused me.  It happened to me 5x in a row.  Each time, it was hard to realize it was happening because girls can be manipulative, crafty, and for sure catty.

 Me being me, I also always tried to focus on the good in people and refused to believe anyone, let alone my best friend at the time, could do this to me.  I still always look for the good in people, but I sure as hell don’t overlook the bad anymore.  I don’t hold grudges—I think it’s a waste of time and energy, but I certainly don’t forget how people treat me and make me feel.

I started to attract good and genuine friends into my life because I finally stopped allowing people to treat me poorly.   I knew I deserved to be treated better, and I wanted to be treated better.  I knew I deserved to have genuinely good people in my life, and once I consistently started thinking this and changed my mindset, I began attracting the people that I wanted.

So, back to my friend that I started this article about: Although we are adults, and petty things like this blatantly shouldn’t be happening, at the end of the day, I can’t be mad at her for not being confident enough with herself.

People tend to project or take out their insecurities on others, and this is exactly what is happening here.  I was livid once I found out what she did to me because 1. situations like these clearly hit close to home because of my past and 2. We are all adults here, grow up, but once I realized this is about her, not me, I accepted what had happened and chose to let it go.

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This chic and very fashionable top is from Romwe!  I have written about this before, but I must mention again that I am obsessed with the bell sleeve phenomenon for this season! What makes this top also stand out is the intricate sleeve design.  I love that this top incorporates eye-catching lace-up tie sleeves.  It makes for a stylish, edgy, yet sophisticated look.  It’s the perfect transition top to take you from day to night! I love it paired with white denim jeans or a cute skirt or shorts.  You can certainly wear this to a barbeque or when you’re out and about shopping during the day, and you can dress it up for parties or get-togethers later in the evening!

Romwe is the place to shop for fun, stylish and edgy clothing! If you’re looking for something very fashionable or the latest styles and trends, Romwe has it all! All of their clothes are so chic and on trend. Not to mention, they are outrageously affordable!

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All photography is by Josh Lobel Photography (@jlobelphoto) and shot in SoHo.

Xx Marisa

Fiesta Forever

A year ago I started a gratitude journal where I write down things I am grateful for each day.  I decided to start it because I randomly read that in 21 days, you can rewire your brain by writing down just 3 things that you are grateful for each day.  Initially, this seemed like an odd concept and too simple of an exercise, however, at the time, I was committed to working on myself and changing my thought processes, and I wanted to do everything I could to accomplish my goal of doing so.  Challenge accepted.

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With that being said, I found a tiny notebook and began listing three things that I was grateful for each day.  The list started out as basic as “1. Mom 2. Food 3. A home, to live in” but gradually developed into so much more.  I remember reaching the 21-day mark and thinking “wow, this really does work.”

The more grateful I became, the more humble I became, and in turn, I actually began to attract more into my life.  Listing three things a day turned into listing five or seven—sometimes even fifteen.  I noticed myself starting to say “thank you” multiple times a day under my breath, even for the smallest of things like good weather or being on time for work despite major train delays.  I even began to be thankful for the “bad” because I began to view bad experiences or challenges as lessons and opportunities to grow.

Every morning I used this exercise to ground myself, and I still do it to this day.  My life has become much more positive and peaceful ever since.  This simple exercise has helped me to accept the person I am and be thankful for the life I have been given, two concepts that were foreign to me before being committed to doing this simple, yet life changing exercise.

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Fiesta anyone?  This adorable polka dot dress is from SheIn!  My inspiration for this shoot was Spanish Doll/Barcelona Babe..I think I’m just dreaming about going to Spain to be honest!  The dress is very pretty and feminine and the polka dots give it a fun, flirty flair.  I love that this dress is off-the-shoulder, one of the hottest trends this Summer.  The dress also has two rows of ruffles at the bottom, making it super chic and sophisticated!   I  paired this stylish number with a black choker and strappy black sandals to keep with the Latin vibe.  It’s the perfect dress to wear to your next summer soiree, celebration or cocktail party!  You will definitely get compliments in this dress, and it’s super comfortable and fun to wear!

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SheIn is one of my favorite places to shop! If you’re looking for fashionable clothing or the latest styles and trends, SheIn is  the place to go! All of their clothes are so chic and on trend. Not to mention, they are outrageously affordable!

Xx Marisa

All photography is by Josh Lobel Photography (@jlobelphoto) and shot in front of La Esquina on Kenmare St. in SoHo.

Holding Back

So, if you look back on my previous posts, you’ll come across one titled “Beautiful Vulnerability.” It was my first post that had more ‘meaningful’ content, so to speak, or at least gives you a glimpse into my heart and mind, reflecting who I am as a person.

A couple of months ago, I was chatting with a friend. We were talking about relationships, and he flat out told me that I’m too guarded.  I could see why he felt that way.  He’s someone who has been very patient in taking the time to get to know me over the past year and a half.  He told me that my blog was a glimpse into the person I am deep down, but my writing just scratches the surface.

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Although (still) slightly offended, the saddest part was, I couldn’t even really defend myself because I knew it was true.  As someone chisels away at the first layer of a pretty thick wall I’ve built over several years, I’m replenishing the cement on the other end simultaneously.

I’m at a point in my life now where the walls that (I thought) used to protect me are now only holding me back. I always say I’m an open book if someone asks the right questions, but what if they’re not asking the tough questions? When do I have to show up and be even more vulnerable in order to open up? When is it my turn to step it up and self-disclose first?

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I’m not saying that I never initiate these deeper conversations; I’m just saying that it makes me uncomfortable, and I’d rather the other person initiate them.  I’m sure I’ve lost a handful of people in my life because I wasn’t ready to fully open up and be vulnerable. Not everyone is going to stick it out. To play Devil’s advocate, I’ve even ended a relationship because I felt frustrated (and bored, honestly).  I felt that it wasn’t meaningful and not on the deeper emotional and intellectual level that I desired it to be on.  I needed something more, but to be fair, my fear, which held me back from initiating those deeper conversations, strongly came into play.

I shouldn’t have a fear of getting close to someone, but it’s there.  Not for everyone, just for people who don’t self-disclose first.  Maybe it’s time for me to make someone else feel comfortable and initially reveal myself to them.  If anything, getting close to someone new is a rewarding and beautiful experience that I should look forward to, not be afraid of.

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All of these beautiful photos were taken in Aruba!

The swimsuit is by Asos 🙂

Xx Marisa

Bleeding Love

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” -Maya Angelou

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“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.” -Dalai Lama

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“The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides” -Audrey Hepburn
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This stunning white, off the shoulder dress and lace up sandals are from one of my favorite boutiques, AMIClubwear. Off the shoulder and bell sleeves are two trends that you’ll see a lot of over the Spring and Summer, and I’m obsessed!  You can find me in dresses and tops similar to this dress all summer long.  These lace up sandals are perfect for every occasion! The heel is only about three inches high (not too tall) so you can definitely pair these with shorts, dresses, rompers, and skirts either for day or night.  Not to mention, nude goes with everything!  It’s a staple item you need in your wardrobe.  You can shop these looks here and here.

Thank you for the collaboration AMIClubwear! This brand is super fashionable, chic, and outrageously affordable.  It has everything you’re looking for and more. If you want to stand out this season, look to AMIClubwear for the next addition to your wardrobe.  You will not be disappointed!  You can shop here!

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Street art by jgoldcrown found on the side of Seamore’s (Broome & Mulberry in Soho)

@jgoldcrown #lovewall #bleedinghearts #seeyouatseamores

Xx Marisa

 

Vamos a la Playa

You can attract anything into your life.  I know I write (and think) about this concept a lot, but sometimes, even when the smallest of things happen, it’s still shocking to me as to how I attract these things into my life.

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For example, I really wanted to do a photo shoot on a beach.  Next thing I know, I’m booking my flight to Aruba (although for pleasure, not work), but the opportunity to do a small impromptu shoot in this gorgeous red dress from AMI Clubwear presented itself.

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The Universe is literally like a magazine, and you can just pick and choose what you want.  Whether it’s positive or negative, you receive what you think about most.  Recently, an opportunity presented itself to me regarding something I had been wanting to try for the past year or so.  Only when I became completely confident in what I wanted and very clear about it did it present itself.  Smaller opportunities began to pop up, and I began to act on these.  With this momentum, I am now in a place where I an receiving exactly what I want.

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This jaw-dropping red, elegant maxi dress is from AMIClubwear.  Red hot, baby!  Red is one of my favorite colors, and I feel like I’m constantly wearing it (or black, considering I’m a New Yorker).  This dress is absolutely stunning and perfect for a special event or night out on the town.  It’s made of chiffon, so it’s super light-weight and calls for the perfect photo op with any windy Marilyn Monroe moment. I love maxi dresses because you can easily transition from day to night with the right shoes and accessories.

If I wasn’t on the beach/in the water taking pictures in this gorgeous dress, I’d pair it with these leopard print heels pictured below.  I’m typically not a huge fan of prints, but I am 100% in love with these.  Sometimes a pop of print is exactly what an outfit needs.  Golden or clear heels are also a big trend you’ll be seeing in the upcoming months. Not to mention, they are extremely comfortable!

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Thank you for the collaboration AMIClubwear! This brand is super fashionable, chic, and outrageously affordable.  It has everything you’re looking for and more. If you want to stand out this season, look to AMIClubwear for the next addition to your wardrobe.  You will not be disappointed!  You can shop here!

Xx Marisa