Don’t Let Me Down

The other day, a friend of mine wronged me.  She doesn’t know that I know she wronged me, but I do.  I’m not going to go into detail here, but it wasn’t something major, just the equivalent of something very high school (i.e. not inviting me to a party because she didn’t want me there for whatever reason).

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From high school to my junior year in college, I was bullied.  I wasn’t bullied by groups of people, nor was there a lot of concrete evidence that I was bullied.  I was consistently and sort-of passively bullied by my closest friends.

When I click with someone, I tend to become instantaneous friends with them.  During my younger years, however, my intuition was not as strong, and I constantly found myself becoming friends with people who were not good for me.

During high school, I quickly became friends with a girl, and we became inseparable.  Everyone knew we were very close and a package deal.  About a year into our friendship, however, she began to low-key bully me.  It started by putting me down by saying small comments here and there.  The subtle digs continued until they developed into so much more.

I remember her once telling me “Marisa, you’re never going to be a model.”  To that statement, I now laugh (if she only knew where I was now!), but at the time I was devastated.  How could my best friend who is supposed to love, care, and support me say that about me?  Answer is that she wasn’t a true friend.

There were many red flags that I should have ended my friendship with her, but we were at a small, all-girls school, where the level of drama tends to be high generally speaking.  I wasn’t looking to cause or add to any drama, and I sure as hell wasn’t looking for our friends to start choosing sides, something that would have been inevitable considering we had a small circle of mutual friends.  This girl was also known for having a strong and mean personality, and to be honest, my young, timid self was afraid to even have a simple conversation with her about how she was making me feel.  So, I sucked it up and tried to brush it all under the rug.

Eventually, we did end our friendship halfway during my senior year of high school.  I think the final straw was over a guy I liked that she was poaching on—I can’t remember to be honest, it feels like a lifetime ago.  Although I was devastated for losing my best friend and our mutual friends ended up choosing sides for the most part, I remember being very proud of myself for finally standing up for myself.

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Unfortunately, the lesson repeats until it’s learned.  After this falling out with this friend, the same thing happened to me again in high school and then twice in college.  It wasn’t until my junior year of college that I finally broke the cycle.

I continued to attract one close best friend who low-key emotionally abused me.  It happened to me 5x in a row.  Each time, it was hard to realize it was happening because girls can be manipulative, crafty, and for sure catty.

 Me being me, I also always tried to focus on the good in people and refused to believe anyone, let alone my best friend at the time, could do this to me.  I still always look for the good in people, but I sure as hell don’t overlook the bad anymore.  I don’t hold grudges—I think it’s a waste of time and energy, but I certainly don’t forget how people treat me and make me feel.

I started to attract good and genuine friends into my life because I finally stopped allowing people to treat me poorly.   I knew I deserved to be treated better, and I wanted to be treated better.  I knew I deserved to have genuinely good people in my life, and once I consistently started thinking this and changed my mindset, I began attracting the people that I wanted.

So, back to my friend that I started this article about: Although we are adults, and petty things like this blatantly shouldn’t be happening, at the end of the day, I can’t be mad at her for not being confident enough with herself.

People tend to project or take out their insecurities on others, and this is exactly what is happening here.  I was livid once I found out what she did to me because 1. situations like these clearly hit close to home because of my past and 2. We are all adults here, grow up, but once I realized this is about her, not me, I accepted what had happened and chose to let it go.

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This chic and very fashionable top is from Romwe!  I have written about this before, but I must mention again that I am obsessed with the bell sleeve phenomenon for this season! What makes this top also stand out is the intricate sleeve design.  I love that this top incorporates eye-catching lace-up tie sleeves.  It makes for a stylish, edgy, yet sophisticated look.  It’s the perfect transition top to take you from day to night! I love it paired with white denim jeans or a cute skirt or shorts.  You can certainly wear this to a barbeque or when you’re out and about shopping during the day, and you can dress it up for parties or get-togethers later in the evening!

Romwe is the place to shop for fun, stylish and edgy clothing! If you’re looking for something very fashionable or the latest styles and trends, Romwe has it all! All of their clothes are so chic and on trend. Not to mention, they are outrageously affordable!

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All photography is by Josh Lobel Photography (@jlobelphoto) and shot in SoHo.

Xx Marisa

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Always Love

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This super cute, white romper is from AMIClubwear.  Rompers are a must have for the Spring and Summer seasons, and you’ll be seeing a lot of tops, dresses, and rompers with unique cut-outs and sleeve trends.  This outfit can also double as the perfect beach coverup.  These colorful pom poms make this romper pop! Now I just need to get my hands on a pair of espadrille wedges with pom poms!

All photography is by Josh Lobel (@jlobelphoto) and shot on the corner of Kenmare & Mott in SoHo

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I am also in love with these Spring booties from AMIClubwear! I’m a believer in wearing booties all year long–I love an edgy summer dress paired with cute booties. You’ll be seeing a lot of shoes with clear or see-through mesh or plastic material during the upcoming seasons. Definitely reminds me a bit of the Spice Girls and the 90s in general, but hey, fashion trends always recycle right?! You’ll also be seeing a lot of shoes, bags, and other accessories with fun prints and patterns like these.  Who doesn’t love emojis?!

Thank you for the collaboration AMIClubwear! This brand is super fashionable, chic, and outrageously affordable.  It has everything you’re looking for and more. If you want to stand out this season, look to AMIClubwear for the next addition to your wardrobe.  You will not be disappointed!  You can shop here!

P.s. my hat is from H&M! Hats always make a great accessory to complete a look 🙂

Xx Marisa

Untitled Unalignment

For the past week or so, I have noticed myself being out of alignment with the Universe (hence my lack of blog posts).  This happens to be occasionally, usually just for a day or so, however, this time was a bit longer.  I feel as if I’m living in a fog and just going through the motions of life.  Negative thoughts tend to cloud my mind, even if I’m just doing something monotonous.  This out of tune feeling usually begins when I wake up and hit the ground running, filling my day with things to do and forgetting about or putting off my daily “practice” or meditation that centers and grounds me.

I typically shake this gloomy mindset by working out, meditating until I feel better, and getting an extra dose of caffeine (not particularly recommended, although it’s typically my first go-to method). This is my magic solution, although not necessarily in that order.

Other than feeling both mentally and emotionally dull, the Universe gives me other signs that I am out of alignment.

Enter the daily hassles of life: the petty, day-to-day, pain-in-my-ass irritations that drive us insane.

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I was recently chatting with a friend who felt as if he was out of alignment because he was attracting these daily hassles. He made me quickly realize that my past week has been filled with these miniscule annoyances.

The biggest one for me is running late.  I used to be notorious for running late, and once I moved to New York, I readjusted and adapted to NYC travel time.  I was forced to quickly learn how to manage my time much better and prepare for delays, yet I have noticed that as my thought process has changed over the past year or so now, I have been much better with being on time.

It isn’t necessarily my time management that is off now.  The obstacles that get in my way along my journey (i.e. the ACE train is running with delays, my Uber driver cancelled after I was waiting for 6 minutes, traffic on 9th for literally no reason) cause me to be delayed.

Yes, these are things that are out of my control, yet they are still things that I am attracting.  I’m attracting them because I am out of alignment.

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I have a couple of different tests that I use to see if I am out of alignment.  One of them being catching the time 11:11 AM or PM on the reg.  Repeated numbers or repetition in general are signs that your are in tune with the Universe.  I typically catch 11:11 once a day, and have been doing so consistently for the past 10 months.  This is actually something I have been doing my whole life, I just never knew what it referred to. When I don’t catch these numbers, I know I need to do some realigning.

Today for example: this morning I caught the time at 11:12AM.  I use this to gauge how out of alignment I am.  If I’m one minute off, I’m close, but not yet there.  Something within me is still out of alignment.  Although this morning I was very close, I’m not exactly on the right path in some way or another (probably because I haven’t had the chance to meditate and center myself yet).  To my surprise, I did, however, catch 11:11PM last night for the first time in probably six days, so it’s safe to say that I’m doing much better than last week.

So what is off in my life? Well, probably something that I am refusing to admit to myself.  Smaller scale, I know that when I forget or put off grounding myself (the one key necessity for me to be in tune with the Universe), I immediately get thrown off and become consumed with these daily hassles.  I wake up, hit the ground running, and start rushing through my life without centering myself first.  Even if it’s just closing my eyes and taking a long, deep breath before I begin my day–it helps me tremendously.  If my mind is scattered from the start,  I’ll attract things that will interrupt my life.

 When your world gets a little rocky, you know it it’s time to regroup and take a look inward.  When you’re in tune with yourself and the world around you, everything will flow naturally and you will be receiving the positivity and abundance you are supposed to be attracting in your life.

Xx Marisa

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Art by Peter Tunney

Photos taken at the Peter Tunney Experience in Miami, FL //Wynwood Art District

Hide & Seek

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“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”-Henry David Thoreau

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” -Andy Warhol

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“Things do not change; we change.”- Henry David Thoreau

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“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment.”-Lao Tzu

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“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”-Buddha
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This jaw-dropping, stencil-painted mural created by Logan Hicks (@loganhicksny) is Bowery & Houston’s newest street art addition.  Painted in late August, this piece titled “Story of My Life” depicts a large crowd walking down Spring & Greene St. all in the same direction.  Although unfamiliar to us, this crowd includes people important to the artist’s life, including members of his family, such as his son who is actually depicted three times, as well as random passerbys who have been subjects in Hicks’ previous works.
The Bowery Houston mural, found in the Lower East Side, is a gem in the world of street art, as it encourages and promotes the acceptance of graffiti art in the streets of NYC.  Although the works change every three months to a year, the history of the wall can be traced back over 30 years.  More recently, the concept of the wall and the art it illustrates has been preserved  with the help of several different groups.
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Dress: Express
Suede Booties: BCBGeneration
Jacket: Forever 21

Lip Stain: Revlon

Eyeshadow Palette: Lancome

Ear Cuff Earrings: Forever 21

Photography by Tiffany Chen @photosbytifff

I’m Not Your Toy

 “It’s all false love and affection. You don’t want me, you just like the attention” -La Roux

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“Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye” -H. Jackson Brown, Jr

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“I’m much more me when I’m with you” – Unknown

“Lord, grant that I might not so much seek to be loved as to love”-St. Francis of Assisi

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“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha

“I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it” -Audrey Hepburn

Top: Zara

Pleather skirt: Urban Outfitters

Bracelet: Baublebar

Choker: Forever 21

Thigh High Boots: Forever 21

Stud Earrings: Kate Spade

Lip Stain: Revlon

Eyeshadow Palette: Lancome

Photography by Tiffany Chen @photosbytifff

Street art by Jet Martinez (@jetmar1) found on the corner of Mulberry and Prince St.

Unlimited Vitality

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“One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest” -Maya Angelou

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“We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated” -Maya Angelou

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“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them” -Maya Angelou

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude” -Maya Angelou

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“Nothing will work unless you do” -Maya Angelou

This colorful mural, featuring musician and singer-songwriter Joey Ramone, can be found on the side of Saxon + Parole on Bleecker Street. In 2015, this piece was commissioned  by the Little Italy Street Art Project (L.I.S.A., @thelisaprjectnyc) and painted by Dublin’s Solus and the Bronx’s John ‘CRASH’ Matos (#SolusxCrash).   The L.I.S.A. Project is “a 501(c)3 charity arts program founded in historic Little Italy bringing events & diverse artists to Downtown, creating NYC only mural district” (-L.I.S.A.).  The mural was strategically painted across the street from CBGB, the location where the band the Ramones originally started.

Top & Sunglasses: H&M, Bracelet: Ralph Lauren, Choker: Forever 21, Shorts: Urban Outfitters, Shoes: Christian Siriano, Lips: L’Oreal 8hr New Nouveau Infallible #320 “Mirror Underneath”

Photos by Devon McLaughlin, The Leveraged Look @theleveragedlook

Color Therapy

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“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

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“I hope she’ll be a fool — that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

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“Angry, and half in love with her, and tremendously sorry, I turned away.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

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“He smiled understandingly-much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced–or seemed to face–the whole eternal world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Top & Skirt: Zara; Choker: Forever 21; Eye Shadow Pallet: Lancome; Bracelet: Baublebar; Lips: New York Color Expert Last Lip Lacquer “#100 Bare Brooklyn”

Photos by Devon McLaughlin

 

Don’t Call Me Baby

“Don’t Call Me Baby”

Found in the LES on Allen St. (Between Delancey & Rivington)

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#TheNewAllen

Dress: Zara, Earrings & Bracelet: C Wonder, Shoes: Steve Madden, Lipstick: Lancome #333 Pink Preview (Matte)

Photos by Devon McLaughlin, The Leveraged Look @theleveragedlook